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What are some funny and smart quotes?

14.06.2025 17:30

What are some funny and smart quotes?

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

What would be the lowest score with 9 strikes and no gutter balls?

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

Do you think it is likely that Maegor was presented a young dragon at some point, almost to the point of full-bonding, only to scorn it for Balerion in the end? If so, which one could it have been?

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

Do you think that drug addiction is a symptom of larger societal ills? What is it about our culture that leaves so many feeling like they're inadequate, trying any ill to find a cure?

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”